How problems emerge between roommates in universities



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They may wrangled on whether sleep with the window open or closed, who is responsible for making the long distance calls on a phone bill, and sometimes receiving a poor grade on an exam leads one to become irritable and argumentative with his/her roommate over emptying the trash. In a word, details such as individual preferences, factual Conflicts, misunderstandings or mistakes, competition for resources, role conflicts and external stress may create conflicts. Here and now, forgiveness seems to be especially important. In fact, relationships of any kind involve a bit of work, some give and take, and a forgiveness of each other.

Dr. Fratzke once said that relationship between roommates was somewhat like that of a couple in marriage. As far as I am concerned, dormitory life is sometimes more difficult than marriage itself since roommates even don’t know each other before moving into the same apartment. When I moved in, I assumed that all living responsibilities would be equally divided between my roommates and I. One of my roommates Julia and I were surprised when we found that another girl in our dormitory would not wash dishes or clean up after herself. “I really got fed up with the mess.

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” Julia said, “Yesterday I picked up everything of hers, including dirty dishes, empty milk packs and shoes, and I threw everything into a garbage bag. Then, I stapled a nice little note stating that next time I would throw it all away. I tossed it all on her desk. ” Julia went to an extreme in dealing with that girl, and we both admitted there were better ways to handle our problems. “Maybe I have to learn to adjust to her,” she said when once talked about it with me, “or else both of our lives will be a living hell. ” This situation may be worse in boys’ dormitories.

“While staying in East 2 (a residence hall), my roommate and I always got into fights,” my friend Simon said. “We even got into a physical fight once over something stupid. ” Roommates are sometimes too grumpy to negotiate how such matters will be handled best when they arise. This often is the case because individuals do not feel they can bring up their troubles in a non-threatening manner. Concerns about disputes may be in a fashion that does not lead to compromise, agreement on solutions, and an exposure of feelings about the matter of concern. Then the problem may cease with feelings left unresolved.

As this process repeats with the same or other concerns, frustration, interpersonal tension, and anger develop. Conflicts in dormitory life emerge originally because different personalities of roommates engenders disagreement, the lack of forgiveness impede the resolution and then the want of communication made problems even worse. My experience with dormitory life brings me memories that are both painful and pleasant at the same time. Some of these occurrences might be so serious that they may hurt me and be hard to forget. However, I also meet one of my best friends in the dorm.

In her essay “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along”, Kelly mentioned a junior in advertising from East Pretoria named Goodwin said, “Remember that not all relationships are set in stone”. Goodwin gave someone who hates his or her roommates advice just to “take it day by day” because after all “Situation cannot last forever. “(P. 1) In a word, the prospect of living with roommates should not be something students should dread.

References Five-Factor Model (Jan. 2001). Retrieved Oct. 23, 2002,from: http://www. personalityresearch. org/bigfive. html Roy J. (1999). “Resolving Roommate Conflict. ” Retrieved Oct.23, 2002,from http://www. stuaff. niu. edu/legal/roommsur. htm Willie S. (1998). Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English Beijing: The Commercial Press Nie Xigang (1993). Develop University Students to be Perfect Persons with Psychology Sichuan: Sichuan University Press Kelly (Oct. 2002). “Why can’t we all just get along? ” Daily Egyptian Reports. Egyptian: Egyptian Daily Press 1 1 Show preview only The above preview is unformatted text This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our University Degree Teaching section.

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